I am. I am? Who am I?
You have the power to decide who you want to be.
You may have noticed that I used a lot of “I am’s” in my previous blog. It was intentional.
Who am I? Is a powerful question.
I am is a powerful statement.
My Story, my I am blog, is a list of the more external stuff that I am. It gives you a taste of what I do in the world and what I enjoy. We all have that personal list of I am’s. Our I am statements are often the way we identify ourselves. They can be the way others work out how to identify us too. Like, you know when a stranger asks you at a party, “So what do you do?” It’s a question that always stumps and slightly frustrates me. Partly because it lacks creativity and thoughtfulness. But I know it is an easy one to ask and can be good for breaking the ice. I am sure I ask it myself at times. It’s just that it feels a bit like they are using the answer I give as the basis to work out my whole entire identity, my income, my social status and so on. And often people don’t know what to do with the answer. I have done part-time supplementary cleaning work over the years so sometimes I would answer “I am a cleaner.” The questioner would generally nod and walk away to find someone else who they thought had a more interesting “I am”.Yay for all the cleaners out there I say! A bloody hard job. I supported and coached people with disabilities for a number of years and still do at times. I am passionate about this job and would always want to elaborate if that was the answer I gave to “what do you do?”. But often the questioner would reply “oh good for you” or “oh that’s nice of you” and then walk away to talk to John the bar owner or Susie the beauty therapist. Not that there is anything wrong with a bar owner or a beauty therapist ok, but I would want to run after them and say how inspiring and wonderful and challenging the people I worked with were. Just the same as all of us! Interestingly, I did find that when I said I sold sex toys and lingerie, was a talent agent, or a professional match maker, (all true, 50 + years of life you know…) that people would offer me another drink, yell out to their friends to gather around, bombard me with questions, and not leave my side for the rest of the evening despite me wanting to mingle and talk to cleaners and mental health and disability workers.
I am more interested in the why’s, in what gets someone up in the morning, in someone’s North Star, in their passions and hopes and dreams and their challenges on the path. But I guess if my opening question to the 6ft 2 handsome man at a party is “Hi, so tell me about your inner challenges and discoveries” there is a good chance I may be left standing alone. There is also a good chance I may find myself with some very stimulating company.
What happens when we move away from the more superficial factors that we define ourselves by though? What happens when we enquire beyond “I am a runner” or “I am a celebrant”? We all have identities that we have created through our personal experiences. The subconscious “I am’s” and stories we tell ourselves about who we are have an immense impact on our lives. Some beliefs serve us well and some don’t. “I am not worthy” is a belief that used to stalk me and talk to me constantly. That limiting belief still sometimes tries to sneak through the back door but I am aware now. And awareness is where all change begins. It changed my world when I discovered I actually have the power to harness my thoughts and beliefs and steer them in a more expansive and empowering direction. This is not about being all Pollyanna- ish and it’s not all woo wee. It’s based on scientific fact and neurological and psychological research. Yes, throw in some magic too, why not! But the fact is that we are not “hard wired”, we are “soft wired”. We can rewire those pathways. I am passionate about supporting people with their own realisation of this and the subsequent transformation. It IS possible to change our limiting beliefs to more empowering ones and I am right there with you because it’s a moment by moment practice of awareness and loving kindness. It’s worth it.
“As you think so you shall become” Bruce Lee
On an even deeper soul level “I am” is the very heart of our existence. In Sanskrit I Am translates to Aham. Aham is our home, a place to come back to and experience the present moment. It’s our true nature: a place of stillness and also of joy, creativity, and aliveness. It’s where everything begins and everything comes back to. You will have felt this deep connection to aham when your mind stops it’s endless chatter for just one blissful second. Perhaps you feel this sense of peace and expansiveness when you listen to your favourite music, when you watch a beautiful sunrise, when you hug your child, when you are in bed with your lover. Learning to find that inner stillness and realising it was within me, not without, has helped me through life’s inevitable challenges. It has helped me to live a life rich in meaning and joy.
Thank you for taking some time out of your day to read this. It is the very essence of what I believe and know can change our world.
Finally, if you are feeling stressed, anxious, or ungrounded today I invite you to try a little breathing exercise.
It uses the word Aham to bring you back to that realisation of a deeper “I am”. Where we can find stillness and connection to something larger than our thinking minds.
Breathe in a and breathe out ham. I always breathe out “ham” because I am a vegetarian. Seriously though, just said a few times aham can calm the nervous system.
Breathe in
Breath out
Have a beautiful day.
Jo xx